{where has your sparkle gone?}

dear universe,

I have left the blogosphere so many times and i always come back with reasons and excuses as to why i left but i don’t really have and excuses this time. i have just felt extremely unmotivated and lost so i took an unscheduled break from blogging. i am back now {duh}. i can’t promise how often i will be on here as to i am very busy this summer but i will do my best to post as often as i can.

random insert- i am sitting in my living room writing this right now at 7pm and it is freezing. my siblings have some friends over so the background noises include video games and commentary, a bunch of screaming hyper little girls and Britt Nicole blasting our of my echo dot that they have discovered how to work and i am to lazy to go turn down.

for this post i just decided to entire some short slightly poetic things i found in one of my old journals. enjoy;)

may or may not be editing right now (10pm) and thinking about how much time i spent on this. but still. ;p i did eat and go to the store during this time though so i didn’t spend all three hours typing this.

also {p.s} i am starting a new theme on my blog so be prepared for a bit of “remodeling”.

p.p.s i just realized that the title is confusing but you’ll get it once you’ve read further. ❤

---

dear universe,

i’m so lost. i’m not sure how to express what i feel but i will do my best…

it feels like my emotions are overflowing and i can’t control them anymore. everything is intensified. at the same time, i feel a dead pan of vast, inexplicable depression. the kind that makes you feel overwhelmed and to energetic yet to calm and demotivated at the same time. me heart aches and feels as though a rather heavy weight has been attached and my heart is slowly breaking under its weight. i anger way to quickly. physical pain no longer shows distaste, i almost welcome it. i feel so vulnerable, open, undefended and misunderstood. i feel really… um, dead honestly.  i feel ignored, hated, unloved, incomplete, scared, unable to defend myself, sick, beaten, used, devastated, forsaken, forgotten, hopeless, sad, anxious, betrayed, tricked, ugly, gross, meaningless, rotten, lost, fearful, unknown, and petty. it feels like the universe is sucking me into a void of nothingness regardless of whether i care. it feels as if the universe is moving on without me and in the process, forgetting about my very existence.

---

dear universe,

my dear, my love, my only,

where has your sparkle gone? i lost mine a long time ago… i thought yours would stay a while though. it was so gorgeous. you keep asking me what a sparkle is and how we have lost ours. now your asking why that questions seems to make me so sad. “i know it is hard to understand you but i can try,” you say. i look away. i don’t want to talk. i know my words don’t matter much anyway nor do they make much since. i think in my head for you to go away even though i know it will only make my pain worse. my sparkle gets slowly dimmer with every step you take away. i start to wonder why i made you leave in the first place. i can’t remember. nothing was worth this pain. i can feel it sharpening the edges of my already broken heart. shaving off the smooth edges i had left. i know somehow as you leave that you’re never coming back. if i could i would call you back to explain to you. somehow i have lost my voice. i can’t speak. i go to move to motion you back as you look back just once only to find i can’t move. i begin to cry. the tears i didn’t know i had left sting my cheeks as they roll down my face. i finally realize i can speak and i scream your name. it’s to late. you’re to far away. i break. falling into this heap of self pity i know i don’t deserve. i hate this. myself i mean. i’m not entirely sure why… i only wish i could call you back to me. “Joy,” i whisper, “please come back… i need you.” no answer. i sink deeper into myself and am startled by a hand on my shoulder. “Joy?” i whisper, full of hope. i turn to see a i recognize but only faintly. “hi,” she whispers, “why are you crying?” i look at her, she seems nice. i wipe the tears from my face. “i’m okay, just hurt but that’s okay, wounds heal.” she smiles at me, helps me up and says “well, i’m sorry to hear that you are hurting, but i am here for you anytime.” i look up are her, she is taller then i expected. “thank you… i forgot to ask, what is your name?” she grins only the slightest bit. “my name is Depression, nice to meet you Bethany.” i flinch. i still don’t know why. i never remembered mentioning my name. she wraps me up in a hug. at first her hug seems normal, almost comforting, but then she gripped me tighter and didn’t let go. i struggle a bit but she seems to grow and increase her hold on me. i can no move. this is a bit uncomfortable, i think. then, suddenly the memories i treasure of Joy and her presence seem to fade.

---

dear universe,

• i said sorry
• i’m sorry
• i tried
• i’m trying
• i promised
• i promise
• i laughed it off
• i can’t bring myself to laugh anymore
• i denied it
• i’m denying it
• i failed
• i’m failing
• i hoped
• i’m hoping
• i died
• i’m dying
• someone cried for help
• i’m helping
• i cried for help
• i’ve stopped trying
• no one’s coming
• i’m done
• your wondering why i’m still using bullets for these fragments of thought
• i’m wondering why i can’t stop thinking about bullets
• i want to put one through my head
• i think i will
• tomorrow
• tonight
• soon
• i’ll fight
• i’ll try
• i promise… to die
• goodbye
• bye
• goodnight
• the night doesn’t seem so good anymore
• maybe i can make it good for you
• tell me how
• i’ll do anything, just to see you smile again
• it’s so beautiful
• you i mean
• you take my breath away
• you make me smile even if it is fake
• i’m glad i know you
• i just wish i’d know you longer
• then you’d know that suicide didn’t used to be the only thing on my mind
• you would have seen the old me
• a smile
• that is rare
• now a grin is all i can bear
• i swear
• i should stop with the bullets they aren’t helping anything
• yet they are just like my heart
• a hole so black you can’t see the sparkle behind
• i wish
• i know
• it will never be granted
• i wish i had someone who could see my sparkle
• i know i’m not good enough to deserve that
• i’m sorry i sound so pitiful
• i’ll stop

---

dear universe,

today he talked to me. i’m not sure why but i loved it… his voice is so wonderful. even better then the dreams i have to admit i haven’t been able to think of much but him since the day i say him. he makes me smile, genuinely for the first time in a long time. i can’t get my hopes up though. he is way out of my league. it is just like fate to put a guy for me to drool over in class every other day. i miss his voice. i need to stop. he wouldn’t notice me. he couldn’t. because, well, he doesn’t exist. it was a lovely dream though, much less frightening than the others.

---

 

 

i promise not all my posts will be sad. but i kinda like the way this one sounds so i had to.

my next post is going to be a poetry post with a few poems i’ve done and i may even put that up super soon just because i haven’t posted in so long.

also coming up i believe i have been nominated for a couple things so those i need to do.

have an absolutely lovely rest of your day/night/time (depending on when you read this)

i love you, you are loved.

---

comment below should i do a post soon about my health journey with everything from how i treat my hair to what medicine i take or post about my makeup routine “glam” vs. everyday/school and my makeup products? 

[the dance of love]

Dear universe,

(This post is specifically directed to the girls out I’m the universe lol)

Dear girls,

Last night while I was taking a bath I begin to think of this subject and I started getting a good idea for a post and this is what came out of it. 🙂

–

–

Your love life is kind of like a dance. In your younger preteen years God dances along side you queuing soft calming songs that slowly bring you into the realty that life is not meant to be lived alone and that one day he’ll bring a lovely man into your life. He’ll bring someone who’s perfect for you. When I say that especially those of us girls that are under fourteen or so picture the “perfect” guy. A guy who looks like he’s stepped out of a magazine, a guy who hasn’t ever messed up to badly, a guy who always know what to say, a guy who is literally perfect for you in every way. This is the picture the world paints for us, the make relationships seem so perfect and easy. The realty of it is this; God is your dancing partner, he’ll sweep you off your feet, waltz you through hard times and hold you close but he will also let the right man cut in. You see as you get older God ceases dancing next to you and instead he pulls you close and slowly sways across the dance floors of your heart. He holds you close during the frightful years of puberty, growth and mixed emotions. Sometimes we get distracted by all the wonderful men waltzing their way through our heart. When that happens God gently pulls us back to him because he knows that although the men are tempting they are also temporary. They may fulfill you in the moment and distract your every thought today but tomorrow they will move on to someone else and the harsh reality is they take the little pieces of your heart they occupied with them leaving you nothing but shattered memories and an incomplete heart behind. Because you see, relationships aren’t as perfect and easy as the world would like to have us think. The perfect man for you doesn’t mean the perfect man it means someone who will work well with you and learn with you over the years of building a life with you. The key word here is ‘with’ because what is a relationships without unity and togetherness? Over the years of getting to know his deepest past, hurt, and mistakes you will see he has flaws but so do you and you will learn to hold each other when things get tough and to help each other look to God for the healing you will desperately need at times. One day God will alow a man to cut into the dance of love he orchestrated with you. There are two things we must remember when this happens; first of all, God is love so anything done in love must be done in him. This means that when you and the love of your life are building a life together you must do everything in love to achieve happiness and to do everything in love you must do everything in God and with God. The second thing is that when God does alow the right man to cut in he doesn’t waltz away with us leaving God and taking over the dance floor. Instead we begin a new dance with God as the Dj. In this dance we learn how to dance through life wrapped in love with our new partner. God doesn’t leave, instead he becomes the Dj and he begins to play the perfect songs that help to direct you and your partner on a healthy journey down this new path of love.

–

–

Welp yeah… that’s what I came up with last night lol and now that I have succeeded in writing almost 700 words I am officially happy and will now stop rambling on and say goodbye 🙂

Good bye👋

~i’ve tried so hard to hold you close but how do you hold something that wants to let go?~

 

dear​ ​universe,  

Today​ ​has​ ​been​ ​another​ ​day​ ​of​ ​odd​ ​circumstances​ ​that​ ​make​ ​you​ ​question​ ​yourself​ ​in​ ​weird ways.​ ​I​ ​begin​ ​to​ ​realize​ ​it​ ​was​ ​one​ ​of​ ​those​ ​days​ ​as​ ​soon​ ​as​ ​i​ ​set​ ​foot​ ​in​ ​the​ ​school​ ​after​ ​the​ ​long wait​ ​to​ ​get​ ​off​ ​the​ ​bus.​ ​I​ ​stepped​ ​in​ ​the​ ​hall​ ​and​ ​immediately​ ​set​ ​my​ ​mental​ ​GPS​ ​for​ ​the​ ​“corner” aka​ ​the​ ​place​ ​where​ ​all​ ​of​ ​the​ ​people​ ​i​ ​like​ ​to​ ​call​ ​my​ ​friends​ ​and​ ​i​ ​congregate​ ​to​ ​stand​ ​and​ ​wait for​ ​the​ ​bell​ ​to​ ​ring.​ ​When​ ​i​ ​got​ ​there​ ​i​ ​discovered​ ​our​ ​corner​ ​had​ ​been​ ​invaded​ ​and​ ​we​ ​needed​ ​to find​ ​a​ ​new​ ​congregation​ ​area​ ​(more​ ​like​ ​they​ ​all​ ​followed​ ​me​ ​around​ ​the​ ​small​ ​and​ ​large commens​ ​trying​ ​to​ ​find​ ​a​ ​spot​ ​where​ ​we​ ​could​ ​stand​ ​and​ ​not​ ​get​ ​in​ ​trouble​ ​for​ ​clogging​ ​the hallways.)​ ​They​ ​all​ ​eventually​ ​got​ ​tired​ ​of​ ​walking​ ​in​ ​circles​ ​and​ ​went​ ​off​ ​in​ ​different​ ​destinations such​ ​and​ ​the​ ​math​ ​hallway​ ​or​ ​her​ ​boyfriend​ ​who​ ​had​ ​just​ ​arrived​ ​and​ ​was​ ​upset​ ​with​ ​them​ ​for taking​ ​over​ ​.5​ ​seconds​ ​to​ ​find​ ​them​ ​in​ ​the​ ​extremely​ ​crowded​ ​lunchroom.​ ​(sometimes​ ​the​ ​guys in​ ​my​ ​school​ ​are​ ​such​ ​f ​boys​ ​it’s​ ​annoying)  So….​ ​after​ ​all​ ​of​ ​that​ ​craziness​ ​i​ ​decided​ ​to​ ​try​ ​and​ ​be​ positive…​ ​it​ ​failed​ ​epicly​ ​but​ ​hey​ ​i​ ​tried right​ ​:p​ ​v  

I​ ​got​ ​a​ ​chromebook​ ​today​ ​which​ ​i’m​ ​currently​ ​using​ ​to​ ​type​ ​this​ ​up​ ​:)))))  

However​ ​my​ ​Jenna​ ​and​ ​Katie​ ​ended​ ​up​ ​sitting​ ​through​ ​an​ ​extremely​ ​boring​ ​lecture,​ ​standing​ ​in the​ ​wrong​ ​line​ ​for​ ​30​ ​min​ ​before​ ​realizing​ ​we​ ​were​ ​in​ ​the​ ​wrong​ ​line​ ​then​ ​standing​ ​in​ ​the​ ​right​ ​line for​ ​over​ ​another​ ​20​ ​min,​ ​and​ ​then​ ​sitting​ ​in​ ​the​ ​large​ ​comens​ ​like​ ​we​ ​were​ ​told​ ​for​ ​a​ ​while​ ​until​ ​we were​ ​told​ ​we​ ​had​ ​basically​ ​just​ ​skipped​ ​a​ ​class​ ​because​ ​we​ ​had​ ​been​ ​told​ ​to​ ​stay​ ​instead​ ​of going​ ​back​ ​to​ ​class.​ ​All​ ​of​ ​that,​ ​simply​ ​to​ ​get​ ​this​ ​chromebook​ ​thing​ ​that​ ​i​ ​think​ ​is​ ​pretty​ ​cool​ ​i mean​ ​sorta​ ​but​ ​that​ ​was​ ​a​ ​lot​ ​of​ ​stress​ ​for​ ​this​ ​tiny​ ​thing​ ​that​ ​can’t​ ​do​ ​all​ ​that​ ​much… 

I​ ​get​ ​really​ ​awkward​ ​comments​ ​from​ ​people​ ​sometimes…​ ​it’s​ ​weird.​ ​Like​ ​“well​ ​you’re​ ​the 

prettiest​ ​freshman​ ​i’ve​ ​ever​ ​seen”​ ​(like​ ​fr​ ​dude​ ​if​ ​you​ ​believe​ ​that​ ​you’ve​ ​gotta​ ​be​ ​legally​ ​blind 

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. 

♡Intoxicating♡

Dear Universe,

Sitting in my living room hoping for my phone to ring, for me to answer and it be you simply wanting to hear my voice as much as I want to hear yours. But I’ll never tell you that, ill never tell you how much I wish I was in your arms right now, how much I wish my hand wasn’t empty, how much i wish you were present. Sometimes I wonder if you are not a dream and some day I’ll wake up. I miss you terribly and I’m sure it hasn’t been that long but it feels like forever since we spoke with every minute that passes it feels like an eternity. I can still feel the warmth  around me sometimes when I’m falling asleep or the sound of your voice when I’m missing you the most.

♡《《Empty room, empty heart. Thoughts whirling, brain blurring. Mind overreacting, body backtracking》》♡

I know I’m probably annoying but one day you’ll see it’s because I care. I know I’m probably not as pretty as someone else you know but I promise I care for you deeper then she ever will. I’m not the best out there, I know that for a fact, how? Because you are and there can be only one. I promise I care too much and I promise I’ll never stop. I promise I’ll always want you next to me no matter what. I hope we always stay best friends when if we don’t always stay together. I hope you understand, I can barely stand… your intoxicating.

“I never went to the beach or stood by the ocean…”

Dear Universe,

(Above) highlight of the day jumping into the bay fully clothed as the sun went down:)

First beach trip ever picture dump

(Below) waves are new but amazing

The secound day we went to the bay💘

 

The next few pics are a little awkward lol my mom took a bunch of pics showing of my bracelet XD

 

We saw some light houses on a military base so that was fun:)

____________________________________________

These past 4 days have been amazing. The beach is so great:) here’s a little bit about each day.

Day one. First time in the Ocean! I got sunburned but I had a ton of fun. Our campsite was okay I mean bugs+heat+oncoming rain clouds=unhappy camper but hey it’s okay lol

Day two. We went to the bay and had fun untill it began to rain and we had to run the half mile across this really long bridge and then I stood in the pouring rain with our stuff while everyone else went and got the van and came back and then we sat drenched at our campsite untill it stopped and then when it stopped the weather was calling for severe thunder storms so we went to a hotel for the night.

Day three. We ate breakfast at the hotel and then went back to our campsite and tried to dry every thing out again lol then we went to the beach and hangout the weather was perfect then went to the bay and me and my brothers jumped in fully clothed and watched the sun set

Day four. We cleaned up camp and went to the beach and now I’m on my way home and I’m tired lol 🙂

Lots of love my friends♡

《I feel like I bother people just by being alive…》

dear universe,

 

Idk man I guess I’m just put some stuff here so it’s long enough to post. You know what I’ll post a video of my most recent song “What have you done to me” no hate tho I’m getting over a cold and my voice is pretty bad… now I gotta go record a video.

( 1:51 pm… )

*At 5:03pm almost 4 hours later I finally give up and upload a song i wrote a while back for a friend of mine*

This song is called “Your so beautiful” And I wrote it because I really wish my friends would see their beauty. I love my friends so much

I went on the internet and found some cool poems for my best friends out there… you know who you are.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A friend like you is hard to find,

one that touches you deep inside.
You’ve given me strength to carry on,
you’ve offered your hand to hold on.
When times are tough, I know you’re there,
To offer support and show you care.
If not for you I would have drowned,
but you help me keep on solid ground.
I believe you were sent from the man above,
because he knows the strength of your love.
You show that love in so many ways,
It helps me get through my darkest of days.
So for that I write this poem for you,
and tell you from my heart THANK YOU!!!

Source: Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/rough-times

I could skip a heartbeat, and I would survive,

I could be in a car crash, and still be alive.

The clouds could fall out of the sky,

The oceans could disappear, and all turn dry.
These things in life are all bad I know,

but there’s far worse things,

just thought you should know.
Life would not be the same without someone like you,

You’re there when I need you to help me through.

Through the good times and through the bad,

Be them happy, or be them sad.
I don’t have to be with you, to know you’re there,

We don’t have to see each other, to know that we care.

We could be apart for years upon end,

and still remain the best of friends.
Life goes on, and people change,

And through it all, our friendship shall remain the same.

That’s such as a life, and how things come to be.

Just thought you should know,

HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME.
Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/through-thick-and-thin

How did I find you? You suddenly came to my life. I could not believe my luck, I said, “Why did not you come to my life earlier?” Because you were my oxygen I breathe, I did not know what’s happening to me. It felt like a storm came into my private world, I had to think about it. “How shall I sleep at night?” It was a time when I met you, my heart returned empty. I did not want to go far from you. Like the clouds, you gave me a shadow over me. As the rain, you made me drowning in luck. Like a storm, you have removed my feelings.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/best-friend-4

Okay I’m done. Tata for now:)

◇•sick and in need of sleep•◇ q & a part one.

*Flops onto couch and puts headphones on*

Today is a listen to music and move as little as possible type of day… buy anyways I’m going to do a question and answer post XD

Comment some questions and I’ll do another post and answer as many as I can:)

(Please try and have fun but don’t over do it XD I’m not one for being able to concentrate for long time periods)

_________/\___________________________/\____

Welp, I did just see a 5 pet peeves post so I thought hey I’ll do that to:)

(I don’t get angery very easily and even If i do I calm down pretty quick so… let’s see how this goes)

Here are 5 pet peeves of mine;

1. When people say I’m fakeing an injury/cold/sickness.

I happen to hate this… a lot. I’m also laying on the couch with a cold right now and kinda hoping I don’t have to go to the swim team awards ceremony tonight.

2. When people make stupid rules.

Okay. I get it when a rule is made to keep me safe or for a reason. I dont get dumb rules that simply restrain people. Like “you must leave your bedroom door open if your on an electronic device” or “you may not go out with friends if there is one more guy then girl”

3. When I get a barely disable sunburn that hurts like crap.

I happen to have one right now and you can see pink on my cheeks but that’s it. Usually that means it doesn’t hurt so people assume it doesn’t but it really really does.

4. When people say “_____…nvm” and don’t tell you what they were going to say.

I hate that so much… mostly because I’m a curious person. Like I’m extremely curious… but anyway…😂

5. When you think you’ve gotten over someone and you see them again like “😗🤤🤑😱😳” okay nvm i still care… a lot.

O gosh I love ____ so much it’s not even funny. Why😂
_________/\_________________________/\_______

Remember comment your questions☺

love that goes beyond mistake

Dear universe,

I was told to write love letters to my friends and so I’m going to! I really do love my friends so much and I hope this shows a glimpse of how much. Here we go XD

Hmm… to start. MCKENNA!! You were the one who asked me to do this post🤣💘

Dear Mckenna,

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

You are seriously one of my closest friends. You are always there for me and I always know you’ll be honest with me even if it hurts. Heaven knows how many times we’ve been painfully honest with each other. Your so amazing gurl, no joke. I love everything about you from your personality to your faith and smile. I can always count on you to be true to you. Your so beautiful! Like honestly girl your so beautiful not only outside but inside as well. You always seem to brush of complements about your looks so I’m just gonna tell it straight up😁 your like perfectly tan, not to dark not to pale, your tall but not to tall and it reminds me of a model the way your body is built, your smile is breathtaking it always makes others happy, your eyes are like…. a deep untold story that sits there waiting to be read..  there just so captivating, your face in general is just gorgeous from your sprinkling of tiny freckles to your perfect little nose XD

I love you so so much 😘 Stay strong love.

Dear Loren,

Ok to start, I honestly love you so so much more then I know how to say. Your so vulnerable and honest with me and I love it so much. I love how good you are with words and how many things you’ve told me that have stuck with me and I still remember. Your very beautiful and so amazing inside and out. We have so many inside jokes it’s great. I have so many great memorys like deciding what magazine each person in are class should be in some day when we were incredibly hyper and it was like 4 am. I still remember almost murdering you with a baseball and I’m still incredibly sorry for that. I remember laying on your deck laughing so hard our sides hurt and telling Quinn and Cole that if they were to lay down they’d see that when your laying down everything is 10× funnier.

Your so incredibly talented in so many ways. Your art is amazing, your photography is on point, your decorating and creating skills are so far over my head like seriously. XD I love you so much dear😘

Dear Kelsie,

We are so dang close it’s insane XD

We say the same thing at the same time sometimes. We come up with the weirdest things. We have so many things in common. We are both so… Idk. We’ve even had some of the same crushes. You always seem to understand completely even if it means you need to verbally slap me in the face you do it and I come out better. I love you so so much and I’m so glad I have you. Your honestly so beautiful and wonderful inside and out. Your one of the sweetest people I know. You mean so much to me, gosh girl if only you knew. Your such an amazing dancer and friend. From trampolines to M.A.D class you’ve always been amazing and I hope we have quite a few years ahead of us💘🤣

I love my best friends so much❤🙄

《•new house picture dump•》

Dear universe,

A month and a half ago I moved to a new house :p

It’s was a trying experience because I didn’t want to change location but we needed more space so I wanted to move at the same time. It’s always a stressful time to move. Trust me, I know. I’ve moved over 20 times, lived in 3 different states, and gotten used to long road trips. I like change… sometimes. I prefer changes to other be small and many or large and few. This move however was just the start of some big changes in my life. Some of them being;

▪Switching form homeschool to public

▪Moving *duh know I already said that*

▪Turning 15 “ahhh”

▪Working with my dad more often

▪Geting a phone as well as paying for it…

Anyway. Enough of that I’m writing this post to show you some pictures of my new house. (This post is mostly focused on the outside. I’ll do another post about the inside sometime)

《This is a picture from my backyard futuring my house》

《Above is my travel buddy Molly and I》

《Below is the sun coming in through the door leading out to the balcony just perfectly》

《Below is a tree》

《Below in the front yard is a little rocky pathway place next to the drive way》

《Below in the front yard is a tree》

《Above are…♡ Flowers!!》

《Below are some flowerson the back patio》

《Below is me and my dog because I love her》

《Below is my dog and I trying to be photogenic》

《Below are Vines *I swear I live in some type of story book right now*》

《Below is the sun playing with my hair》

《Below is the sun playing with my hair some vines and the temputure》

《Below is the sky and some vines》

《Below is this lovely swinging bench that is located inside the terrace》

《Above is a blue metal ladder connected to the small swing set we have》

《Below is a picture of a lovely arch made from branches that I decided to take a picture under》

《Below is the lovely terrace type thing that’s currently draped in vines》

《Below is a lovely bush next to the fire pit and my shoe:D》

《Below the firepit》

《below the balcony above the balcony steps》

《Below are the stairs leading up from my basement》

《Below is a pretty willow tree the sun was playing with》

《Below are some lovely stone steps we have because I’m obsessed with stairs as you’ve probably noticed》

《Below we have a picture of part of my back yard》

This concludes my blog post for today.

🖤Live life to the fullest my loves🖤

100 reasons.

Dear universe,

Recently life’s been hard for me and I have needed some encouragement. That’s exactly what my best friends have given me. I honestly love them so much. They mean the world to me. I think people should appreciate there best friends more. They are important.

The reason this post is titled one hundred reasons is because that’s the reason I’m alive. The reasons I’m alive really only come out to a total of two, there names are Kelsie and Loren. They have done so much for me i can’t even put it into words. A few things in particular they’ve done for me are;

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

•Give me 100 written reasons to stay alive.

•Smile and tell me it was okay even though we both knew it wasn’t.

•Simply listen

•Give me joy

•Make me laugh

•Show up

•They have never left me

•Show me what it means to be a true friend

•They spend a lot of them listening to my long messy rants

•Text me random song lyrics to make me smile

•There just there and I know the always will be

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Thanks to all the best friends out there! Your amazing! I love you! Smile!