it has been a LONG time…

life, news

dear universe,

i’m not quite sure how to start this, so so much has changed.

here is a bit of an update on me:

my name is bethany surratt and i enjoy writing and expressing my feelings and those of others. i originally created this site years ago as an outlet to some of my poetry and lifestyle. now i hope to use it as a way of expressing my emotions in a somewhat poetic form as well as writing small short stories and following my life journey in a series of scattered blogs. my family- i’m a teen mom, my son was born june 3rd 2020 when i was 17. his name is malcom christopher lohr and he is 6 months old as of today. he is the light of my life and keeps me going on days i don’t want to. my s.o.’s name is kaleb and he is the love of my life. he is the best thing (second to malcom) that has ever happened to me. i will probably end up mentioning him throughout this blog often. i am the oldest of six children, i tend to jokingly call my mom a baby cannon sometimes because well, 6 kids in ten years is a lot if you ask me. haha, anyways, i’ve grown up in virginia, california and texas. i currently live in virginia and kaleb and i hope to move to texas in the years to come. at the moment we live with kalebs lovely parents and the two physically disabled adults his mom takes care of in home for a living. we love living here but hope to move out in the near future as we know we raise a lot of their living expenses such as water and electric. kaleb works nights currently which poses fun time difference in our sleep schedules and eating schedules. i am at this time an unemployed sahm but looking for work. my appearance- i am a 4’11, natural brunette currently teetering on the side of being overweight. i am in the process of losing the baby weight i gained from having malcom and not taking care of myself. i will post a link to my pinterest board “my style” for those wondering as well as my instagram handle for those interested in what i look like.

my style

my instagram @bethany.surratt

i’m not quite sure what else would be good to include so please feel free to comment any questions i’d love to answer them and talk!

my next post will be coming shortly and will be about my self care and weightloss journey i am embarked on. feel free to stick around.

as always, you are loved + you are beautiful/handsome. hold your head high, you’ve got this. 🤍

awesome blogger award//

tags and awards


dear universe,

I’m back, it is literally the next day but I couldn’t help myself plus i felt really bad that it had taken me so long to get to this. so here i am.


  • thank the person who nominated you
  • include the reason behind the award
  • include the banner in your post
  • tag it under #awesomebloggeraward in the reader
  • answer the questions your nominator gave you
  • nominate at least five awesome bloggers
  • give your nominees ten new questions to answer
  • let your nominees know they’ve been nominated!

mucho gracias Jenny! it is a pleasure to do this post and I am sorry it took me so long to get around to it. you are truely an awesome blogger and i love reading your work.

the awesome blogger award was originally created by maggie @dreaming of guatemala . this is an award for the absolutely wonderful writers all across the blogging world. they have beautiful blogs, are kind and lovely, and always find a way to add happiness and laughter to the lives of their readers. that is what truly defines an awesome blogger. ~~~coffeelovingbookoholic

1) if you ever told someone you loved them, would you want them to remember?

yes, if I told someone i loved them i meant it and it would hurt me honestly if they forgot that i loved them.

2) stay up late or wake up early?

stay up late all the way, I am a huge night owl.

3) how would you describe your aesthetic?

dim light, dying flowers, small pops of calm colors, ice and coffee.
4) do you think graffiti is vandalism or art?

art, mostly. some graffiti is plain out wrong.

5) last song you listened to?

psycho, by Post Malone.

6) do you want to get married?

yes, i hope to one day marry an amazing man who really loves me and really loves God and have children.

7) leather jacket or hoodie?

you will usually find me in a hoodie however if i had a choice leather jacket all the way.

8) how would you describe yourself physically, in the three words?

short, wired and unique.

9) what is one of your nervous habits?

I will alternate bouncing my leg and playing with my hands. i just recantly broke my old habit of biting my nails.

10) if you could change your name, what would it be?

i would probably use my middle name instead of my first.

Cianna pronounced see-on-uh.

I believe almost all my followers have already been nominated so i’ll just nominate my brother;) Cason. i’ll let him know verbally that he has been nominated. i’ll also nominate a few others and if you have already done this tag you are not obligated to do it again.

my brother/Cason




my mother/Maria

here are my questions!

1. if you where given the ability to survive for one year without one thing we need to survive what would it be?

2. if a stranger where to give you a lot of money and tell you to use it wisely but call you by the wrong name, would you take it or tell them they are mistaken?

3. what was the last food you ate and why?

4. if you where given the ability to either stay at the level of fitness you chose or fly which would you choose and why?

5. what is one random event you wish you had never attended?

6. in seven years what are 4 things you want to have acomplished?

7. if on this day you where told you could have the job you wanted and be whatever you wanted to be now would you take the offer or finish school and see where it took you?

8. what is your favorite song right now and why does it mean something to you?

9. who is your favorite celebraty right now?

10. since everyone i tagged knows me, what is one sentence you would use to describe?

{where has your sparkle gone?}

life, poetry, stories

dear universe,

I have left the blogosphere so many times and i always come back with reasons and excuses as to why i left but i don’t really have and excuses this time. i have just felt extremely unmotivated and lost so i took an unscheduled break from blogging. i am back now {duh}. i can’t promise how often i will be on here as to i am very busy this summer but i will do my best to post as often as i can.

random insert- i am sitting in my living room writing this right now at 7pm and it is freezing. my siblings have some friends over so the background noises include video games and commentary, a bunch of screaming hyper little girls and Britt Nicole blasting our of my echo dot that they have discovered how to work and i am to lazy to go turn down.

for this post i just decided to entire some short slightly poetic things i found in one of my old journals. enjoy;)

may or may not be editing right now (10pm) and thinking about how much time i spent on this. but still. ;p i did eat and go to the store during this time though so i didn’t spend all three hours typing this.

also {p.s} i am starting a new theme on my blog so be prepared for a bit of “remodeling”.

p.p.s i just realized that the title is confusing but you’ll get it once you’ve read further. ❤

dear universe,

i’m so lost. i’m not sure how to express what i feel but i will do my best…

it feels like my emotions are overflowing and i can’t control them anymore. everything is intensified. at the same time, i feel a dead pan of vast, inexplicable depression. the kind that makes you feel overwhelmed and to energetic yet to calm and demotivated at the same time. me heart aches and feels as though a rather heavy weight has been attached and my heart is slowly breaking under its weight. i anger way to quickly. physical pain no longer shows distaste, i almost welcome it. i feel so vulnerable, open, undefended and misunderstood. i feel really… um, dead honestly.  i feel ignored, hated, unloved, incomplete, scared, unable to defend myself, sick, beaten, used, devastated, forsaken, forgotten, hopeless, sad, anxious, betrayed, tricked, ugly, gross, meaningless, rotten, lost, fearful, unknown, and petty. it feels like the universe is sucking me into a void of nothingness regardless of whether i care. it feels as if the universe is moving on without me and in the process, forgetting about my very existence.

dear universe,

my dear, my love, my only,

where has your sparkle gone? i lost mine a long time ago… i thought yours would stay a while though. it was so gorgeous. you keep asking me what a sparkle is and how we have lost ours. now your asking why that questions seems to make me so sad. “i know it is hard to understand you but i can try,” you say. i look away. i don’t want to talk. i know my words don’t matter much anyway nor do they make much since. i think in my head for you to go away even though i know it will only make my pain worse. my sparkle gets slowly dimmer with every step you take away. i start to wonder why i made you leave in the first place. i can’t remember. nothing was worth this pain. i can feel it sharpening the edges of my already broken heart. shaving off the smooth edges i had left. i know somehow as you leave that you’re never coming back. if i could i would call you back to explain to you. somehow i have lost my voice. i can’t speak. i go to move to motion you back as you look back just once only to find i can’t move. i begin to cry. the tears i didn’t know i had left sting my cheeks as they roll down my face. i finally realize i can speak and i scream your name. it’s to late. you’re to far away. i break. falling into this heap of self pity i know i don’t deserve. i hate this. myself i mean. i’m not entirely sure why… i only wish i could call you back to me. “Joy,” i whisper, “please come back… i need you.” no answer. i sink deeper into myself and am startled by a hand on my shoulder. “Joy?” i whisper, full of hope. i turn to see a i recognize but only faintly. “hi,” she whispers, “why are you crying?” i look at her, she seems nice. i wipe the tears from my face. “i’m okay, just hurt but that’s okay, wounds heal.” she smiles at me, helps me up and says “well, i’m sorry to hear that you are hurting, but i am here for you anytime.” i look up are her, she is taller then i expected. “thank you… i forgot to ask, what is your name?” she grins only the slightest bit. “my name is Depression, nice to meet you Bethany.” i flinch. i still don’t know why. i never remembered mentioning my name. she wraps me up in a hug. at first her hug seems normal, almost comforting, but then she gripped me tighter and didn’t let go. i struggle a bit but she seems to grow and increase her hold on me. i can no move. this is a bit uncomfortable, i think. then, suddenly the memories i treasure of Joy and her presence seem to fade.

dear universe,

  • i said sorry
  • i’m sorry
  • i tried
  • i’m trying
  • i promised
  • i promise
  • i laughed it off
  • i can’t bring myself to laugh anymore
  • i denied it
  • i’m denying it
  • i failed
  • i’m failing
  • i hoped
  • i’m hoping
  • i died
  • i’m dying
  • someone cried for help
  • i’m helping
  • i cried for help
  • i’ve stopped trying
  • no one’s coming
  • i’m done
  • your wondering why i’m still using bullets for these fragments of thought
  • i’m wondering why i can’t stop thinking about bullets
  • i want to put one through my head
  • i think i will
  • tomorrow
  • tonight
  • soon
  • i’ll fight
  • i’ll try
  • i promise… to die
  • goodbye
  • bye
  • goodnight
  • the night doesn’t seem so good anymore
  • maybe i can make it good for you
  • tell me how
  • i’ll do anything, just to see you smile again
  • it’s so beautiful
  • you i mean
  • you take my breath away
  • you make me smile even if it is fake
  • i’m glad i know you
  • i just wish i’d know you longer
  • then you’d know that suicide didn’t used to be the only thing on my mind
  • you would have seen the old me
  • a smile
  • that is rare
  • now a grin is all i can bear
  • i swear
  • i should stop with the bullets they aren’t helping anything
  • yet they are just like my heart
  • a hole so black you can’t see the sparkle behind
  • i wish
  • i know
  • it will never be granted
  • i wish i had someone who could see my sparkle
  • i know i’m not good enough to deserve that
  • i’m sorry i sound so pitiful
  • i’ll stop

dear universe,

today he talked to me. i’m not sure why but i loved it… his voice is so wonderful. even better then the dreams i have to admit i haven’t been able to think of much but him since the day i say him. he makes me smile, genuinely for the first time in a long time. i can’t get my hopes up though. he is way out of my league. it is just like fate to put a guy for me to drool over in class every other day. i miss his voice. i need to stop. he wouldn’t notice me. he couldn’t. because, well, he doesn’t exist. it was a lovely dream though, much less frightening than the others.



i promise not all my posts will be sad. but i kinda like the way this one sounds so i had to.

my next post is going to be a poetry post with a few poems i’ve done and i may even put that up super soon just because i haven’t posted in so long.

also coming up i believe i have been nominated for a couple things so those i need to do.

have an absolutely lovely rest of your day/night/time (depending on when you read this)

i love you, you are loved.

comment below should i do a post soon about my health journey with everything from how i treat my hair to what medicine i take or post about my makeup routine “glam” vs. everyday/school and my makeup products? 

marked// a story

dear universe,
good morning:) it’s been awhile. I’ve been busy with school, the drama, the winter retreat and so on but I’m here now and better then ever. I hope you have been having a wonderful life. here it’s been getting just warm enough to hint at spring and then dropping back below and threatening to snow. I’m so ready for spring. it’s cold.
I know in my recent post i talked about starting up my YouTube and not focusing on this as much but I don’t think I will be able to go as far with YouTubeing as I had hoped right now. so that means I should be able to focus more here. XD
recently I’ve been having a wonderful time rediscovering God and all his amazing ways. it’s taken me awhile and some straying to get here but I’m here now and I’m so happy and shocked I made it this far. two months ago I couldn’t see myself being alive today. now I was just thinking yesterday about what I want to do after highschool. ♡
below is a story my mother sent me. it touched me and I wanted to share it so here it is. (the picture is of me in the snow because snow pics are the
Once upon a time there was a young boy. He was beautiful, and he was marked. Most could not see the mark as it was invisible to human eyes. Nonetheless the mark was evident.
The boy lived life like most other young boys. He enjoyed being outdoors and living a little on the edge of adventure. Before long he grew to double digits and then went through the awkwardness of middle school and puberty. Now the boy was a young man. He was tall. He was strong. He had a deep voice. He began to notice girls around him. In all these ways this guy was like all the other guys around. There was one way this guy was entirely different from all the other guys around. He was marked. He was marked with the Holy Spirit, and this boy knew it. He had set his face like flint toward the God of the universe and decided his life would be for the King of Kings.
Now, I told you this guy noticed girls. He was a guy after all. He had simply made a decision that girls would not run his life. He would serve the King and Him only. He wanted a girl. He wanted a wife. But he refused to settle for less than the best. And he knew his teenage heart would have a difficult time judging what would be the best for the long run. So, he made a decision to do something  unheard of in the culture around him. He would wait. He would watch. He would run hard after God and keep an eye out for who was running along side him.
There were nights, more than a few, when he would cry hard tears and punch a punching bag quite fierce because his emotions didn’t like his decision. But he held to his commitment. He waited. He watched.
One by one the girls were picked up and chosen by all the other guys. Would there be any left for him? Would any save themself for a man? Would they all go to teenagers? Would any run after God and Him alone? Would any choose to wait? He must trust that somewhere, somehow, she would be waiting just like he was. So, he prayed for her. He prayed for himself and hoped she prayed for him.
There were girls around him that we’re beautiful and tempting. And some he thought cared for him, yet they didn’t want to wait. They went out to have their fun times and he saw their hearts be broken time and time again. He would have comforted them… But he knew they would fall for him and not be willing to wait, so he kept his distance. He knew his heart couldn’t get to close yet or he would not be able to wait either.
There was one. He watched her. She was marked. He could tell. So often she tried to scrub the mark off and follow what all the other girls were doing. But she couldn’t quite get the mark to come off. He hoped she would stop trying so hard to go the other way. If only she would surrender to the One who marked her and let her self be lonely for now. She would be the one he would go for. She would be the one he would pursue. She would be the one he would woo and win. She was like him. And he was waiting.
this is so beautiful and honestly I love it so much.
I’m currently sitting on the bus on the way to school and it’s 7am while I’m writing this. I love school. I just wish I could choose the people in it sometimes. anyway 🙂 I hope you all have an amazing day!
•leave any post suggestions in the comments below and I will do my best to get to them//

•why I’ve been gone from the blogosphere// please read•

life, news

Dear Universe,

so… I have some good news and some bad.

first off! some good news! I am going to be starting something I’ve always wanted to…. YouTubeing! I’m starting up and I’m so excited. I really feel like this is a good change for me and the best decision for me. so i am just getting started so keep that in mind but you can look me up “Bethany Surratt” and my most recant video was “Washington D.C Mini Vlog”. :))

now… the bad. I want to focus on YouTubeing and not as much here on blogging. so I won’t be posting much. I will try to but, no promises. 😦

love y’all and I hope you’ll check out my YouTube;)


life, new year

Dear Universe,

good morning! It’s really like noon but o well, you get me. 😉 this post is kinda going to be like a 2018 goals post/ a 2018 to-do/to-buy list. 🙂 I wanted to be a bit different and have some fun with my “new years” post. hope you enjoy my goals and ideas.

•GOALS• 2018 •PLANS•

•start a YouTube channel, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while and might be able to now and I’m excited. let me know in the comments below some videos you’d like me to film and I’ll post a link for my YouTube once I have a few up!

•get 100 followers on here 🙂

•post regularly, and have a schedule.

•start a bullet journal! I love bullet journals so so much and I haven’t done one in a while but I’m thinking about starting one. if you haven’t done a bullet journal before definitely look some ideas up on Pinterest and start your own!

•perfect my eyeliner, this is a smaller goal but a big one too. I’ve never been very good at eyeliner and I want to get better.

•redecorate my room/reorganize, I might actually be starting this today. yay!

•be able to sing “never enough” from the greatest showman flawlessly… :)) I always love working on my voice even when the goal is a hard one.

•work on my health and fitness, I’ve been extremely lazy recently and I’m starting to notice in my weight and how I feel. I’ve also been eating a lot of junk food and I need to stop. :/ this will be a hard one even though it shouldn’t be.

•getting up earlier… I’m a night owl and I am not a morning person at all lol.

I will do my best to do a post later when I’ve gotten somewhere on these goals. also some of those on this list and the one below could have been on the other but idk;) I’m weird.

•to-do• 2018 •to-buy•

•save over 1,500 dollar’s, I want to be able to get a decant car when I get my license in about a year.

•get some nice furniture for my room, I want to get a different bed and I have a room redo idea I’ve yet to complete;)

•make a bed frame, my grandpa makes guitars and furniture and is really good at it. I want to get his help to make a bed frame that has drawers under it and doesn’t have a head-board or foot board… idk if that makes sense but if I get it done I’ll post a picture.

•I want to buy a better journal for my bullet journalism, this one is random but will actually probably take me the longest to get lol.

•I want to buy wellness notebook where I can keep track of what I eat and stuff.

•I want to but a makeup organizer shelf thingy I saw once.

welp, that’s all for now. I’m going to insert some random pictures from the past couple weeks.


I uploaded a lot lol but o well:)

I promise I’m wearing pants😁

perspective changed my life

friends, life, me, Uncategorized

Dear universe,


a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.

recently I’ve been starting to see into something I’ve been wanting to for longer then I can remember. perspective on my self-worth and how I view the world. these past few months have been rough and I barely made it but I did. I’m here to say that and that is my victory.  I thought I would do this post kinda as a reminder to those still struggling. when I say this I don’t mean I’m not still struggling because I definitely am im just doing so with a different veiw. 

so first off here is kinda an old and new perspective to give you the idea and then I’ll share how I got there.

the old –

•I’m not beautiful

•I’m worthless

•everything is my fault

•I deserve this

•I hate this, that and everything

•everything felt numb and distant

•everything I used to find beautiful I found boring, ugly, and a waste of time

•my heart had this heavy guilt, dead weight, and pain that never left.

•I was so stressed out and exhausted

•I had panic attacks and couldn’t sleep

•I felt odd and couldn’t remember what normal felt like

•I never felt hungry

•I mistreated people unintentionally

•I lost it so many times

•I came so close to ending it

•I was the help while I couldn’t receive help myself

•I didn’t see anything clearly

•I lost like 50 pounds over these few months

the new –

•I am beautiful

•I did have purpose in so many lives

•I’m not guilty of every wrong thing that occurs anywhere near me

•I don’t deserve hatred and what I sent through, does that mean I wasn’t meant to go through it? no it just means that my actions were not what caused me to go through that in most cases

•I can truly love again

•I can feel… this may sound weird but I actually have emotion now and it’s not just fake and I love it

•my heart still hurts, not as bad as it used to but it’s there now and that’s what matters

•I’ve been having less panic attacks and I’ve been actually getting some sleep

•I actualy feel hungry now and eat a little more

•I’ve apologized to those I hurt

•I no longer want to end it

•I’ve received some help from some close friends that had made a drastic deference in my life

•I’ve been able to see more clearly now

“Bethany, you are so unique (just to start off) I just love your personality and your special glow on your good days. I hate to see and hear about stuff that makes you do things to yourself. You sometimes have a really hard life that you don’t deserve to suffer with. But you’re really strong and that’s because only you can handle everything that’s going on. You are just such an amazing friend. You’re so kind-hearted and sweet and ugh. You’re one of the few people I sent a paragraph to because I really want you in this new year you’re really important and I love you so very much” – a good friend

“But that’s just not true Beth, we all have our problems but that doesn’t make us bad. Your one of the most caring people I know and you’ve never left my side since the day I met you and I appreciate that so much. I don’t think you will ever know how much I care about you because it’s impossible to put it into words. I’m so happy to be like a big brother to you. You leave such a great impression on people, and I’m living proof of that. Awe, of course I’ll stick around Bethany, even though we split you mean the world to me. Your my lil sis remember? I’ll always be here for you. Through thick and thin I’ll always be your constant to hold on to if you need it” – another good friend

these are just two of my best friends that have helped me get through this and if it’s you who said the above reading this, thank you so much. you mean the world to me and I don’t know where I would be without you.❤

so, my eyes have been opened and I am so thankful for the life I have been given.


liebster award

tags and awards


Dear universe,

hey, I’m back:) I’ve been really busy recently and haven’t had my devices in a while so I haven’t been able to post. but I’m here now.

I’ve been nominated for the Liebster award by my good friend McKenna, love you babe. I’m not entirely sure how this works but I’ll give it a shot;p

here are the rules 🙂

1. acknowledge the blog that gave it to you and display the award

2. answer the 11 questions that the blogger gives you

3. give 11 random facts about yourself

4. nominate 11 blogs

5. notify those blogs of their nomination

6. give them 11 questions to answer

side note: I don’t believe I know eleven blogs but I will do my best.


here it goes with her questions xd

•if you could change your own name, what name would you choose?

hmm, I’d probably use my middle name as my first ive always wanted to but it would be a challenge to get everyone to call me that. i don’t know if I’d change my name entirely tho.

•if you could have any super power, what would it be?

oh boy… I don’t know. probably the ability to stay as fit as I like that way I could still have my terrible eating habits :p and stay fit.

•what is your favorite memory from your childhood?

when my younger brother and I used to dress up as Disney princesses and come up with make-believe worlds. my favorite memory of that is when we were playing and I decided that there needed to be more movement cuz I was bored so I changed the game to a jungle and yelled “I see a bear!” the point being to get up And burn some energy running around the house to get away from said bear… Cason, wanting to join in yelled “I see a mouse!” and then went on to talk about how tiny and cute it was… i don’t know it was funny to me.

•what’s your most embarrassing moment?

recently, a friend of mine asked me to sing something knowing I love to sing, I did and she liked it and asked me to sing for her parents, I did and my voice failed me… i don’t know it was funny and embarrassing at the same time.

•what’s your favorite holiday and why?

Christmas, I like warm fires, snow, and hot chocolate.

•what’s your biggest fear?

snakes.. I just can’t.

•do you want kids in the future? how many?

yesss I love kids. when I was younger I had my heart set on have 13 children… now I think unless my spouse is set on more id like 4:)))

•what’s your favorite christmas tradition?

we don’t have many traditions but i guess i like that we don’t usually go any where Christmas day, we pretty much so what ever after opening gifts and eating breakfast.

•are your left or right-handed?

right-handed, yeet… i don’t know man

•what’s your spirit animal?

JOHN LEE + MCKENNA ERB… sorry only McKenna will get this but bruh John Lee.. xd

•what’s your biggest obsession?

I have multiple… fricken coffee… love it. also guitar, piano, and singing…

11 random facts about myself

1.  I love cheese… mac and cheese, cheese burger, cheese cake, nachos, Cheetos, Doritos… I, yeah.

2. I love star wars and Harry potter.

3. I love water.

4. I like getting dressed up

5. I love ripped jeans, Starbucks, and candles. yes white girl much I know.

6. I enjoy litterly some songs from every genre examples include welcome to the black parade – MCR, forever and ever amen – Randy Travis (I think), holy spirit(not sure who by), strike back- we as human….

7. 7eleven… boiiiii, Idek man.

8. I’m random. xc

9. I am either full of energy or dead there is no in between… it’s sad.

10. I’m actually extremely observant about a lot and it’s weird sometimes the stuff I’ll remember.

11. it’s the final countdown.. dunanana… dunananana… idk that just kinda popped in my head:))

alright I nominate the following:




… that’s all I got, I feel bad. o whale. 😉

questions for y’all…

1.How would you change your wardrobe if you had the money to buy anything?

2.If one person of your choice could be brought back from the dead who would it be?

3.what is your favorite ice cream flavor? do you think a Christmas tree should be? (all lights, all ornaments, both, other)

5.who is a celebrity you’d like to meet one day?

6.what are 2 things you’d like to do before you die?

7.what is one thing you never do, over anything? do you describe color to a color blind person?

9.if you were left to rename 5 animals common to us like a dog, a cat, a hamster, a mouse, and an elephant. what would there new names be?

10.if you were to receive three gifts all of over $100 in value and you got to choose what they we’re, what would you receive?

11.what is one thing you’d like to do in 2018?

I apologize, I’m not sure where those questions came from but there so. have fun:)


I need some blog inspiration y’all, I need some post ideas. 🙂 please comment below some things you’d like to see me write about and I’ll do my best to write a post for yah.

good day loves, have a good last day of 2017.

[the dance of love]

life, poetry, stories

Dear universe,

(This post is specifically directed to the girls out I’m the universe lol)

Dear girls,

Last night while I was taking a bath I begin to think of this subject and I started getting a good idea for a post and this is what came out of it. 🙂

Your love life is kind of like a dance. In your younger preteen years God dances along side you queuing soft calming songs that slowly bring you into the realty that life is not meant to be lived alone and that one day he’ll bring a lovely man into your life. He’ll bring someone who’s perfect for you. When I say that especially those of us girls that are under fourteen or so picture the “perfect” guy. A guy who looks like he’s stepped out of a magazine, a guy who hasn’t ever messed up to badly, a guy who always know what to say, a guy who is literally perfect for you in every way. This is the picture the world paints for us, the make relationships seem so perfect and easy. The realty of it is this; God is your dancing partner, he’ll sweep you off your feet, waltz you through hard times and hold you close but he will also let the right man cut in. You see as you get older God ceases dancing next to you and instead he pulls you close and slowly sways across the dance floors of your heart. He holds you close during the frightful years of puberty, growth and mixed emotions. Sometimes we get distracted by all the wonderful men waltzing their way through our heart. When that happens God gently pulls us back to him because he knows that although the men are tempting they are also temporary. They may fulfill you in the moment and distract your every thought today but tomorrow they will move on to someone else and the harsh reality is they take the little pieces of your heart they occupied with them leaving you nothing but shattered memories and an incomplete heart behind. Because you see, relationships aren’t as perfect and easy as the world would like to have us think. The perfect man for you doesn’t mean the perfect man it means someone who will work well with you and learn with you over the years of building a life with you. The key word here is ‘with’ because what is a relationships without unity and togetherness? Over the years of getting to know his deepest past, hurt, and mistakes you will see he has flaws but so do you and you will learn to hold each other when things get tough and to help each other look to God for the healing you will desperately need at times. One day God will alow a man to cut into the dance of love he orchestrated with you. There are two things we must remember when this happens; first of all, God is love so anything done in love must be done in him. This means that when you and the love of your life are building a life together you must do everything in love to achieve happiness and to do everything in love you must do everything in God and with God. The second thing is that when God does alow the right man to cut in he doesn’t waltz away with us leaving God and taking over the dance floor. Instead we begin a new dance with God as the Dj. In this dance we learn how to dance through life wrapped in love with our new partner. God doesn’t leave, instead he becomes the Dj and he begins to play the perfect songs that help to direct you and your partner on a healthy journey down this new path of love.

Welp yeah… that’s what I came up with last night lol and now that I have succeeded in writing almost 700 words I am officially happy and will now stop rambling on and say goodbye 🙂

Good bye👋

|i don’t know what this tag is called|

music, tags and awards, Uncategorized

dear universe,

So my girl McKenna made up this great tag and tagged me so here it goes lol.


– thank/give credit to the person that tagged you

Love you McKenna, thanks dear.

– answer the questions

Yes ma’am

– either explain why you chose the song you did, or don’t (your choice).

Okay got it (excuse my smart mouth but I’m having fun lol)

– post new questions, or use the same ones


– tag as many people as you want

Uh…. i don’t know how I’ll try tho 🙂

Shoot Loren has already been tagged I believe

– eat some ice cream (i’m sorry, but this one is required). (you’ll thank me later).

Dude I wish I could… I’ll tell my mom I was ordered to and see if it works lol

(questions are bolded)

1) what’s a song you listen to when you’re happy?
Forever and ever amen- Randy Travis (don’t judge there is a back story part of it being I actually do like country music since… I am from Broadway (pronounced bro-way) lol)

2) what’s a song that can make you go from happy to sad/ has made you cry?
Geronimo- Shepard (it was on my playlist for a while because it was a part of one of the happiest nights of my life but now that night is only a bitter memory and it hurts)

3) what’s a song you can relate to?
1-800-273-8255 – Logic (this song hits me in the feels… like hard)

4) what’s a song that makes you laugh?
Coconut coconut sharks in the water- TØP (I feel like it seems like I’m copying McKenna but disclaimer I would have put this even if she hadn’t lol because Loren likes to jam this on her ukulele and sing it at the top of her lungs every time she comes over and its great)

5) what’s a song you listen to when you’re in a dark place?

Battle scares – Lupe Fiasco, Guy Sebastian

6) what’s a song you could listen to on repeat without it ever getting old?
Forever and ever amen by Randy Travis (😁 I just fricken love that song)

7) what’s currently your favorite song?
Titanium- David Guetta

(Simply because I don’t want to put forever and ever amen again lol and because I’m trying to learn how to sing titanium)

8) what’s a song you can dance to?

Anything like rap or hip hop basically but there’s also the side of me that can do some cheesy bad ballet to any slower song;)

9) what’s the most annoying song you’ve ever heard?
Look what you made me do – Taylor Swift (hate this song…dont even know why)

10) what’s an old(er) song you used to love?

Hello – Adele

(There was a time that I couldn’t stop singing this song lol)



Bye loves, untill next time❤